A Wolf in My E.R.
One hectic Easter Sunday…
“Hey Doc, the wolf in Room 1 is waking up!”
I couldn’t hear very well through the din of activity in the pet emergency room. “The what in the what is what?”
An exasperated nurse retorted, “the wolf, you know, from the wolf sanctuary, her sedatives are wearing off.”
“Sure,” I said. I did not stop what I was doing. This is obviously another one of those e.r. practical jokes.
“Seriously, Doc, I know you think I’m joking. There’s really a wild wolf sleeping on the table in Room 1. But she’s starting to wake up.”
I still wasn’t getting it, “How could there be a sedated wolf? Did they call and tell us they were on their way?”
“Yes, you were too busy for us to tell you. They called from the Sanctuary about an hour ago.” So…everybody, except me, knows what’s going on?
“How could she be sedated, I didn’t even see her yet to prescribe anything?”
“No problem, Doc. The Sanctuary’s regular vet gave them a bunch of syringes of sedatives in case they needed them.” Really??? Wow. That’s tough to argue with.
Sure enough, draped across my little, but sturdy, utilitarian stainless steel examination table was a full grown female, mostly sleeping wolf. Her skinny grey-brown body was arranged on her side, and her head gave a quarter-jerk up every few minutes, as if she was trying to fight the sedative. Mind you, this was not a domesticated puppy dog, but an opinionated adult of a wild and proud species. To say we would have a problem if she woke up in unfamiliar surroundings understates the gravity of the situation.
Her caretakers looked nervous. “What brings you here today?” I ventured.
“Well, Doc, she’s been peeing blood for days now, and we thought it could wait til the regular vet comes out to the farm, but then today, she just looked crappy.”
I performed a full physical on a sleeping wild wolf, obtained a urine sample and blood for laboratory tests, sedated her a little, tiny bit extra when she started to look around and freaked everybody out.
“What’s the verdict, Doc?”
“Well, your wolf has a urinary tract infection. Have her take these antibiotics in a deer meatball? and have her regular vet check in on her tomorrow.”
Sighs of relief emanated all around until we all realized she was waking up and had to get to the secure truck out back. Before she was fully awake, we set her down on the floor. We couldn’t carry her far because she was coming to, and she was heavy! She was much heavier than a dog that would look her size. Lined up with a straight shot to the back door of the emergency room, and the open door of the re-enforced transport vehicle invitingly ajar, we formed a suggestive line of people bodies spaced about every 3-4 feet from each other on either side of her projected path. To her credit, the wolf girl staggered right down our “people alley” and up into her spot in the truck.
Who ever said a wild half-drunk wolf couldn’t be reasonable? That was so cool.